Perspective.

We have all heard the over used phrase: “It’s all about perspective!”

But what if it really is? I am facing a time in my life where I often feel alone. It is easy to sit and wallow in a negative state of mind when I feel this way, wishing I had someone to turn to or that I simply did not feel this way in the first place. In reality, that state of mind only digs a deeper hole and can quickly spiral into a toxic habit of self destruction.

Instead of asking yourself why you feel this way, what is wrong with you, or why you are “alone”, flip your perspective to see this as an exciting opportunity.

We live in a fast paced world, where everything is almost instantaneous. We can have food delivered to our door within an hour without leaving the couch, we can google any question we have an have an answer within the second we hit search. Our brains have almost been trained to be able to fix everything instantly, and if we can’t we assume there must be something wrong, there must be a glitch. Achieving a healthy and positive relationship with yourself is a journey that takes time, commitment, and constant dedication. Afterall, it is a relationship. Just as you have to continuously work on and put effort forth in a relationship with another individual. For some reason, I have found that most people are more eager or willing to put those necessary steps in place for someone else, but sell themselves short of that kind of commitment to themself.

It is often said that the hardest part of anything is the beginning. The first few steps in quitting any bad habit is usually the toughest. The first few days without a cigarette are often the toughest to ignore the thought of nicotine. The first couple of days being single after a breakup are usually the saddest and most lonely. This is because starting a new routine of any kind is just simply new, and it can be hard to get used to a new pattern.

Change your perspective. Decide to start new. See this journey as a new relationship. You just met yourself, and just like any new relationship, it is good to take it slow in order for it to last. Go ahead and accept the fact that you are not going to be brand new and 100% okay for the rest of your life. There will always be hard days. But those hard days will become fewer and farther between. Take the time to get to know and grow with yourself as you would with another individual. Respect your own thoughts, feelings, and opinions as you would someone else’s.

Most importantly, appreciate the time you have during this season of life to dedicate completely to yourself. In the grand scheme of your life, this may be one of the last periods that you have this much time on your hands to give yourself. We always tend to wish for what we do not have. Someone who has three children, a full time job, and a spouse would likely say that they wish they had more time to be completely alone, while someone who is completely alone might wish for a family and career to focus on.

You may not be able to change the circumstances in which you find yourself, but you certainly can change the way that you choose to see them.

Choose positivity. Every single day. Even the days when it is easier said than done, do it anyway. Because the one thing that nobody can take away from you is your ability to decide.

Cheers to you and your journey,

Britton